It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
