Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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