Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
