shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
