his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
