i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
