Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
