eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
don't judge my taste in strippers
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
