At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
