Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
i think my cat just said my name.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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