He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I am midnight drunk by noon
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
