go do what you do best...puke behind churches
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
