# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
