He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
