if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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