What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
