I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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