they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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