Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Text me some of your sweat
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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