so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you will always have a special place in my vag
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
