Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
