Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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