hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
