no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
