Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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