it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
