I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
