Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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