we have officially lost it.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
