He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
