I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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