so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
