just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
