i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
