I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
