I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
