I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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