you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
