Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
birth control should be required to get into college
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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