It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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