a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
