whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
