I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
