I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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