Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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