Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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