jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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