i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
