i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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