Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
