just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
